Self destruction

I awake, outside a den of sin, guilt slowly creeping into me as the impurity leaves me, as the sober state returns. The mind altering substances I ingest to adapt myself disappear, allowing sobriety to return. I panic, seek an escape, search for that fix, the blankness that is the altered state in which I generally reside. I rush back into the den of evil, begging for another injection of death, pushing reality away as I fall back into the coma. Perhaps I deserve this, perhaps its for the best.

Perhaps the escape is necessary to attain normality.

I wish I could just turn off.

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